SHREDDED WIT

Heaven believed mocks my beloved earth: My death will not be mocked by any rebirth.
Recent events in Rwanda have been coup-coup.
Among golfers, foreplay is hyphenated.
If mankind had evolved to love Earth as much as it yearns for Heaven, we would need no post-mortem Paradise.
God is a toy we fashioned for ourselves in the childhood of our race; but we just can't let it go: we even kill those who try to take it away from us.
Arthritis can cure kleptomania.
Having waffled on pedophilia, the Vatican is expected to issue a very strong statement on pediculosis.
In Idaho a woman can be jailed six months for exposing a nipple: one wonders who the real boobs are.
My Lithuanian mattressweetie, who doesn't speak English very well, wants to know how to do "oracle sex."
Hope dwells with the subversive, not the submissive.
Intriguing indeed all the attention being paid to God these days by professors: are they all just keeping an eye on e-tenure-ty?
The least-publicized source of student financial aid: prostituition.
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