LAURELS AND LEMONS

Most investors screwed by corruptorations are in a consensual relationship.
Energouger.
I'm not exactly sure what this next sentence means, so I'm not printing it.
My Lithuanian mattressweetie, still struggling with the language, thought "woodpecker" was a dildo.
You must read The Art of Pornographic Bagels.
Ace Hardware is sponsoring a documentary on Muslims who use nails and screws in their suicide bombs.
My Irish nationalist friend,a supporter of the Irish Republican Army, was deeply disturbed by the headline "How DRIPS can become part of an IRA," until I explained it referred to "Dividend Reinvestment Programs" and "Individual Retirement Accounts."
A computer columnist asks, "Is the floppy finally dead?" My favorite whorelet replies, "I certainly hope so."
A little-known federal law passed in 1803 and still on the books allows citizens to throw corn kernels and turkey eggs at Congressmen during lunch hour. (Hamilton : 48A-g31)
Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, 71, announced that he has "never had sexual relations with anybody, man, woman, or child." Well, that doesn't exhaust the possibilities.
Female members of the Phlogistoni tribe, who live on Jesse Jackson's plantation, wear thongs consisting of living snakes.
Harriet tells me that Resolve Carpet Cleaner works on dreadlocks.
"Style" is an expensive addiction.